You’re the Man!?

I have been talking lately with friends about their different coming out stories and to whom? It wasn’t until just reading another blogger’s post about her moms reaction at just thinking it  that I felt I had to share.

My mom isn’t someone who I take too seriously. Not in a disrespectful way or anything like that. I mean her opinion matters to me a lot. It hurts when she judges me….she’s my mom ya know! However, what I meant by my statement was that I am so used to her reaction always being “You’re going to do what you want to do anyway..”

My mom says that to everything. When ironically, she was the first person I told my engagement was off she said, “Well you’re going to do what you want anyway.” lol When I said I was driving/moving across the country she said, “Well you’re going to do what you want anyway.”

So even though I took a really long time to tell her…I kind of expected this response. It was just the emotions and whether or not she would ever look at me the same that I was afraid of.

I mean people just don’t get it sometimes. That while it is my choice..it’s not just some choice. “It’s something that I know deep in my heart to be for me.”

Well I told her one day, using a discussion about hair. She brought it up first anyway. So if she was going to get mad I was going to tell her she shouldn’t have asked then. That would have been hella bold.This is how it went.

Me: mom look at this hair cut *holds up picture*. Isn’t it cute?

Mom: I guess…*long pause* Let me ask you a question. And don’t get offended. Why you want to cut your hair short? it’s butch! I’m going to have real grandkids right?

Me: mom! what are you talking about lol.

Mom: It’s not funny! *serious face* I’m serious. You would tell me right?

Me: That depends

Mom: On what?

Me: On whether or not you can keep it to yourself and not blab it to the family.

Mom: oh my God…it’s true…*looks at me searching for a laugh* You are?

Me: Yes mom…I am…..a lesbian.

*long pause….we both busy ourselves for a moment*

Mom: Is it something I did?

Me: No mom, of course not.

Mom: Did something happen to you that I don’t know about? Like when you were little?

Me: No mom…this isn’t a result of some traumatic experience.

Mom: It was that boy wasn’t? He made you give up!?

Me: lmao mom! this is my preference..no one caused it. lol

Mom: *pause* You know you get it from your father’s side of the family.

Me: *still laughing and now I can’t breathe* Mom this is not some gene. It’s a choice I made.

Mom: Yes, a choice that you got from your father’s side. lol Well, I still want grandchildren. And they better have our ears, because that’s how we identify our kin folk.

Me: Oh of course mom, my wife can carry my egg.

Mom: Oh My God! You’re the Man??!!

Lol and that was it. It went extremely better than I thought it would lol. It took forever to get her to understand that I’m not a man..but that yes I am more aggressive and I like really feminine women. I think she kind of gets it. She just has to see it for herself one day lol like whenever I bring someone home. Now that ought to be funny. I know she took her moments to deal with it. Before I left her that day I asked if she was okay. “Well…you’re going to do what you want to do anyway.”

I still have my “parents” to tell. That will be nothing like this. They are extremely religious and well…my heart still sinks when I think of telling them.