A little over three weeks ago, I broke up with Chocolate Mousse. I can’t even begin to explain where this decision came from. What I can say is that when it was all said and done, real doubt set in. And it wasn’t doubt towards her, it was doubt that I had really walked away from the person I had loved for the last six months.
Archive for the Dear Diary Category
All I need to know is that you love me. I’ll keep trying to right my wrong, I’ll go above and beyond. I know that you still love me… so I’m going to fight for us.
I’ve been writing about this over and over and then deleting it over and over. I’ve even deleted this entire post twice. Before this actually posts, I’ll have saved it as a draft and probably let it sit for days.
I have been waiting for peace to come over me about my decision to be single. It hasn’t arrived yet and I can’t help but think, maybe it’s because I made the wrong decision. I truly wake up most mornings with her still on my mind. I’ve asked myself before, “What on earth have you done?” I can’t say that I fully regret it yet. Or that I’ve built the courage to call and say, “I’m an idiot, please let me try again.”
I’ve decided to start writing to you in the hopes that it will help me open up more. I’ve found myself keeping a lot in these days and I’m not sure how to get it out. I post on my blog and I keep things so general sometimes, I don’t fully get everything off my mind. It’s starting to weigh on me. I’m starting to feel so heavy with these thoughts, having not shared them, that my head literally feels heavy. I worry that it is starting to affect my decisions.